Readers Write About Enlightenment
Here’s Looking At Me, Kid
BY MAGAZINE CONTRIBUTOR JULIE KONRAD
Who am “I”? “What is my purpose?” “What am I doing with my life?”
These are questions that every human being has asked her/himself at some point during their life. Some of us have enjoyed receiving clear answers in our search through yoga, meditation or other means. Some people may feel they haven’t discovered any answers, but experience more subtle clues throughout their journey while many more people simply hide away and let the ego take over, never letting the true-self emerge. There is a great one word definition of self, the “Witness.” The observing self that sees and judges what we do and what we say. This “witness” becomes very important during the search for purpose.
Simple’s never easy
Going back to psychology 101, I learned about Maslow’s theory of self-actualization. He said once you realize what you are capable of doing, it gives you motivation to do it, and by realizing your potential it will lead to fulfillment. Seems so elementary, but once you begin your work, you find it’s much easier said than done because of one very ugly word…judgment. This pitfall on the journey to inner knowing has blocked me for many years. It’s like the wave that pushes me back right when I get through the pull of the undertow. Self-judgment is the detour sign that takes me forever to get back on track and wastes my precious time. It’s the beast that devours my confidence and spits out my shell. And yet it’s there… The Judge, The Self, Myself.
A ha! It’s me –
I know there are many members in the SJC (Self-Judgment Club). I’m not unique. I know this. I also know that many members of this international club don’t like to share this detail about themselves. But they are willing to give away their personal power each time they self-deprecate themselves. I know this, again, from experience. I’ve realized that I have become my own roadblock. My “witness” needs to take a break and go on vacation. I have work to do on a deeper level.
So for now, all you SJC members, there’s a reservation waiting for your witness. Don’t you have work to do? Enjoy yourself. You deserve it!
Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see, judge yourself and see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment and you can see forever.
- Nancy Lopez
Find more Julie at www.lunapresenceyoga.com
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© 2011, The Magazine of Yoga, LLC.